Boast of Quietness

Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.

The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.

Sure of my life and death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.

Their day is greedy as lariat in the air.

Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.

They speak of humanity.

My humanity is in feeling we are all voices in the same poverty.

They speak of homeland.

My homeland is the rythm of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword, the willow grove's visible prayer as evening falls.

Time is living me.

More silently than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.

They are indispensable, singular, worthy of tomorrow.

My name is someone and anyone.

I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn't expect to arrive.

-Jorge Luis Borges-

Please come back

I wish you were still here.
I never wish that u will be gone.
And I want to let you know.
Even if u never heard it from my own mouth.
But thats the only thing that i want to let you know.
Since the day you picked me up.

Please, come back.
I'm sorry i dont feel like strong enough to stop me from crying.

Please come back.
If i ever sleep and wake up again will you be here again?
You were my strength and happiness and I never expect you to go away so soon.
If I know you will be gone that day, i would stay with you and held you close.
And be the last person you see before your last breath.
And I wouldnt regret that as much as i do now.

Please come back, please.
Call me Glade again.
Lie on the grass with me again.
Run away with me again.
Give me faith to go on again.
Show me sunshine again.
Join my dreams again.
Share secrets with me again.
Being alone seems so HARD.

Its hard to lie to myself that im still strong but the fact im falling inside.
Its hard to smile at people when I know theyre mean to me.
Its hard to catch up with things that seems so fast to me.
Its hard that I cant tell exactly how I feel.
Its hard that I cant share my dreams anymore.
Its hard to let out my dreams just to this useless website.
Its hard to care for someone who doesnt care as much as I do.
Its hard when Im slowly deteriorating.

Eventough I know u were watching me from above. Please forgive me, for being so selfish, and refuse to meet you untill the last moment of ur breath.
If only i know, i wouldnt do it, ever.

Ive been top of the world. Ive lashed out all those debaters. Ive won u Best Director. Ive managed to beat down 4000 people in Khazanah. And I WANT U TO KNOW its because of you catch me.

Look at me right now. Im weak. Im so clueless right now, im lost all confidence, ive lost hope , ive lost myself.
Im dysfuntional.
Please come back.

I dont know where to go here. All seems so mean to me. I wish you would be here. I just dont know how to stop crying.

Escape!

"Hey Glade, wake up! You have to see this. Its for you. Tadaa..Happy Birthday."

What?Aww Thank you. A blank book. Without underlines. White and nothing. But its beautiful cover though.

"Because it will be you who determined it. Its an Escape book. Write everything you ever wanted in life in it and promise me something."

Hmm?

"That you will try to fullfill it throughout you life."

Somehow its quite witty that it is called Escape. Why?

"Because I want you to call it that way. To escape."

From who?

"Yourself. Your always-limiting self ." He chuckles.

*blushes*

***

I found the book beneath my old collection box. It smells of old book just like a treasure that you stumbled from the library. Damp, rusty smell though. And I like it. Fumbling throught the pages, I wonder will i ever get my confidence back like I used to like that time?

Of course I will, i wouldnt dissapointing him. Or better, myself.

My first entry :

I want to be the happiest girl on earth.

"Hey Glade. Come Here"

I remember that name. He used to call me that. It was that night.
Its breezy. Its bright. The night is still young.
Behind the college hall, everyone's everywhere. Yet there's no other people there.
Just us. Lying on the grass.

"Look at the stars"

Tell me.

"What?"

What you have been thinking.

"I cant show you any Orion, or The Seven Sisters..."

Haha, no, I dont expect you to tell me that, I wouldnt believe you even if you show me one.
So tell me, what are you thinking?

"..."

Simple question.

"You make it difficult for me"

Start with what we had gone through this afternoon. And the KYS. When you are across the room, the debate. I know something has bothered you.

"Okay, just a thought that we could immerse ourselves with the environment we are in.."
"As swiftly as a watercolour in a glass"

Contrary to me , that i would rather shut my eyes to sleep, and waking up after a long , long time. I guess its a form of escapism.

"No, you dont have to."
"La Tahzan. I promise I'll meet you there"

And he left, leaving me staring far to the stars for a long long time.

Arianna II

Then somebody lifted me up.

And saved me.

And taught me something .

"You forgot one thing"

What is it?

"Love."

Arianna I

What do I really want in life? I always asks myself again and again and it wouldnt stop now. At least not for the time being. Not that i havent got the answer yet, but its the reason for me to keep walking , and walking.

I used to be extremely ambitious and I could feel the sensational effect shot endlessly, vertically through up the sky. You really believe nothing can stop you from the inside, thus providing a stronger feeling of not to give up on any obstacle you face outside. For you, if you really want to make it happen, any obstacle outside, no matter whose fault it derived from, is equipped with the strength from the inside. Your ambition, hopes, and wants. With these elements, everything else is taken care of, surprisingly, by you. It is true experience is a true word itself. As if it is crafted by nature, you preoccupied yourself to adapt any worst-case scenario that might happen. As the saying goes, ambitious man is unstoppable.

But when will the ambitious finally draw a white flag? How worse is the worst-case scenario?

When you fall down from the sky.
Back to earth.
Free-fall.
Hard.

And then you realize you start from blank. Zero . Zilch.

Strings and Blows

Ive made a new video :) Very roughly cut, but thats the point. I always thought the memories I had is still vivid, but when I really wandering deeper into it, it feels like some holes and patches had been made. But those little things...laughter, how the fingernails shines, how they twist their smile differently, and how the dews ran like daffodil seeds on the windows. I still havent lost them yet, thats for sure.

What makes Gaza tick?

What makes Gaza so tick?
Its the ever expanding strip of course.

And the "strategic" moves by the Zionist that keeps pushing forward as a reason for self-defence? Genius how we make Vito power holders in UN keeps supporting us

And death toll Israeli troops to Palestinian civilians is 1:100?
Ohoo thats because the civillians are deliberately placed in the battlefield by the Palestinian Jihadist as a shield...

Umm..whats the actual area for the battlefield?
Uhum the Strip as i told u. Always expanding, and big enough to bring along the tanks.

U mean the whole Holy Land is a massacre ground for killing innocent children and women?
They arent innocent, that land is ours. And they arent regarded as human anyway, in our belief its not wrong to kill these creatures.

Isnt is unethical?
Unethical? We survived from the Holocaust.HOLOCAUST is unethical. We suffered so much physical and mental damage so dont u ever discompromise with us of what ethical means.

Thank you for ur interview, this answers means a lot to the world.

Let them shriek!

Wake up to diminish all that excessive ,apalled imagination! And there goes kitty behaves for a reason. She can face this moment. Only this moment. But not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, and days to come. Well, its psychological, she thought. And Prozac will... (shhh.. prozac is certainly off the topic) and she wants to move on without it.

She wonders how Pak Lah actually managed to overcome all those irrefutable vindication in a single smile. And she keeps on wondering until her sense gets tired to hear all his sanguine rambles. Sanguine, she didnt think its perfectly suit her mind right now, but at times she does convinced by the fact that her brain is slowly deteriorating. If somebody told her that its shrinking, she might believe it.

Whatever happened in Australia, they say its a crime scene now, oh how deliberately someone would kill 100+ people with the help of Global Warming. Thats a tragic. No that should be a comedy. As if Mr. Global Warming is paid monthly for a stand up comedy. Stage: Earth of course. Well the audience wouldnt care much would they? as long as the laugh is still valid enough to fill their interest void. They wouldnt realize much at the consequence untill their own clothes are burnt off . When theyre start shrieking, theyre so in pain they forgot to complain.

Im still breathing. Hmm thats awesome.